It's funny to think about the goals that I had at this time last year. How much I've come out of my shell and my comfort zone. This time last year, I had dreams of going to Canada. I had a brand new laptop (still got it, just not so brand new, but still my best friend, hehe). I had slanted bangs and a bleached spot in my hair. I...still dressed the same as I do now. No really, same t-shirt is still my favorite. I just wanted to make it through high school and I had no idea what came next. I finally learned who Peter Singer was. My favorite ring was that big black gemstone one. Yes, the one that I still wear almost every day. I was sad, that my family had almost fallen apart at the seams, but still working through it with hope. I didn't draw much because I never had the time. I was sitting in college algebra at noon until one on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I had in mind one Smith-Corona 1950's typewriter. I thought I might've been in love with a person I didn't even know. I still worked my usual weekend shifts at the diner. I'd spend every Sunday afternoon at the local Starbucks with Randi until closing time. My best friend. I wore leggings instead of pants, and my black pea coat with the red lining. My favorite band was the Matches. I thought I knew it all because I read Chuck Palahniuk.
And now.. I've been to Canada. And I can tell when people are Canadian because contrary to popular Canadian beliefs, they really do say "eh?". My bangs are straight. My hair is all one color. I graduated high school. And I figured out that school is not everything. Only a small part of life. I love Peter Singer, but I love Bell Hooks and Marx alot more. I acquired alot more jewelry (and even started making it myself). My family has almost fallen apart again, but this time from a different family member (or two), alot of worry. But I know we'll all get through it like we always do. I draw so much my hands are always dirty (that goes for painting too, even with soap, the color doesn't come off). I understand college algebra better than almost any other math class I've ever taken and I've taken a little liking in studying set theory as well. I now own that lovely beautiful Smith-Corona typewriter. I found out I wasn't in love, but I still got my heart broken and cried harder than I have in years. I still work at that damn diner on the weekends. I try to spend time with Randi, but I feel the reason we don't see each other is because the Starbucks closed down (hence why I don't absolutely hate Starbucks, it allowed me to get to know someone better than I ever have before). Randi is still my best friend. I now want to pull out those old leggings, but dominantly wear jeans or those black pants that're so faded. I still love my pea coat. My favorite band will always be the Matches, though they don't really exist anymore. Instead of Palahniuk, I read Marx, books about Dahli, Scott Pilgrim! (as well as Watchmen, any comics, really), and became revolutionary in thought (and hopefully some day in action as well). I've grown so much as a feminist, and it makes me proud to say that amongst a class of almost 40, I am one of two girls in my Marxist Philosophy class. I've become a photographer and have so much fire and passion for it, more than I could've ever expected. I fell in love with the complete least expected person. I got new glasses, they look exactly like my old ones, but they don't slip off my face. I've found a new mentor in Mary. I can critically analyze cheesy 80's movies like They Live! I learned sleeping in my car is incredibly uncomfortable, but nights up with my lovely darling make it an adventure nonetheless. I've got my ears pierced and they've actually been working for me. I lost 8 pounds somewhere along the way. My laugh lines are becoming deeper in my face. I've met so many new people I couldn't even name them all. I made every last second count. Silly how that works.
