despair.

Sometimes, the world just doesn't go the way you'd like it to. One slip or one wrong thing said can switch your mood from one end to another quicker than the mind can even register. Sometimes, you get your heart broken. And then, for some time after that, you cry. Your mind feels clouded, dark and dismal. Nothing seems kind or happy. You feel as if you haven't really laughed in a long time. Your heart feels heavy once again, but this time not with love, but with despair. For some time, you feel as if you've got no heart. All feeling has left the building.
And then:
Sometime after that, your feelings start to return. Your heart starts growing back. But sometimes in the process, our hearts can grow back crooked and mangled; which leaves us cold and full of hatred. Sadness for the world and anger against it's being so cruel to us. We feel no compassion, for some time. We hide in the shadows, acting like nothing has ever hurt us. We pretend. We pretend its all okay, but with a certain arrogance that screams that it's most certainly not okay. All the sarcasm, the wasting of time, you keep yourself busy.
But then:
One day (and maybe not yet) you realize that you're sick of being sad. Tired of being sick. For some time, you work on rebuilding the love in your heart. Though there's no one there to give it to, it works its way back into your framework with ease. You find it much easier to be kind than trying so hard to be mean and invisible. You build more bridges and once, you laugh. Once you stop thinking so hard and trying so hard to BE IN love, you focus on just loving. Love comes quicker and easier this way. Relax. Stop trying to rush into everything. Just live your life.